Elegy In Ten Gears

The bike's balance and 
Rhythm make me long
For wisdom. At least
Patience –
Non-attachment –
Acceptance –

Death as new life – ice
Into water, water
Into green pastures,
Look for me
Under your bootsoles,
Etc.

Instead I'm a child
Craving consolation, inconsolable.
I accept nothing
And deny it.
Every yes comes out no.

My lungs suck and fail to fill.
In the middle of air
I can't breathe.
I have no appetite but hunger.
No direction but away

I pedal until my body aches more
Than I, until the sun gives up
And rises, raises the day like the dead –
Houses and fields, woods and water
Returned, vivid

As the ace of diamonds I fixed
To my spokes as a kid, the wheel-
Of-fortune-clicketing urging
Me forward, every pore
Open to chance. 

Filled with nothing, the air sparkled.
The smallest bird's song found me.
Fallow, the fields renewed.
Even the road pulsed.

A chill breaks
Over me like
The sweetness of the salt
On the first body I loved.

I turn back, lower my head
Against light and wind and fall
Into a steady pace.

Far from wise, made young
By death, I yawp
A little, attached to everything
That passes.