Sensitive New-Age Guy

There once was a time when men were still men
Men like our dads and their dads before them
Who'd never change a diaper or cook a family meal
Who'd say, "Whaddya mean?" when you ask
"How do you feel?"
He was the master of the castle,
the head of the home
The family could survive on his income alone
He'd never have to worry about the wife's job
She'd serve meat and potatoes and corn on the cob

Now things are different as you can plainly see
They've made us all go and get vasectomies
It's all in the name of equality
Blame it on the patriarchal society

You get the feeling something's passed you by
Must've been important, but you don't know why
Try to understand, at least you can try
You're just a sensitive new-age guy

You've got your Birkenstock sandals
and your one pierced ear
Your little ponytail--
that doesn't mean you're queer
You just tuck it in your collar
when you want to go to work
Then you whip it out again
when you want to go beserk
at your mens' group meeting two times a week
We'd never guess that you were once
civilized geeks
You play drums in the sweat lodge
and howl in the woods
And shake your sticks and spears
like real men should

'Cause that's the way it is for the new-age guy
You're expected to have feelings,
You're expected to cry
The women have been waiting for their big chance
Let 'em bring home the bacon,
let 'em wear the pants

You get the feeling something's passed you by
Must've been important, but you don't know why
Try to understand, at least you can try
You're just a sensitive new-age guy

You can change a diaper, you can change a flat
A new-age guy has to do all that
You must pay lip service to liberal ideas
You must play second fiddle to your wife's career
You're politically correct and so inoffensive
Your food and clothing is organic,
that's why it's so expensive
Even your religion has been watered down
by all the neo-hippie gurus
that are hangin' around

Don't you get so sick of this alternative crowd?
D'you wanna get into a fight or something--
go down proud?
At least then you'd know where your loyalties are:
You'd be with the tractor caps in some redneck bar

You get the feeling something's passed you by
Must've been important, but you don't know why
Try to understand, at least you can try
You're just a sensitive new-age guy