Urban Indian Spider Chant
(for Tiffany Midge)

Innocently dangling,
Long legs gangling, eight
Eyes goggling, sharp fangs
Flashing, creeping, crawling
She is there to remind you

In spite of your sweet
New job and fancy red
Pickup never driven off 
An unpaved road,
You are still related.

If you have been away for
Far too long, maybe you will
Just as innocently take
Off your shoe and      
*SPLAT!*     

Smash to smithereens
That upcoming promotion,
That long-lost, sofa-swallowed
Winning lottery ticket,   
That one chance

To chat with that cute UPS
Driver who always hits your
Office right before break.
Do yourself a favor next time
When nature creeps in,

don’t                                kill it!
                                                  don’t                          kill it!
                            a spider             in your                  room             brings
                    good        things           around            good        things         around
                a spider           anywhere          could very           well                      be a
GOOD SPIRIT  GOOD SPIRIT
so here’s what you do, you take a
big jar, a big jar with a big lid, too; you take that big jar with a big scoop
           you scoop       her away       and take her outside          then                release
          her with          a prayer,           saying, thank you             spider             for your
         nice visit         and the                                                         good luck       too, now
        be on              your way                                                          be on             your way

Gone.

II

Or, if you’re like me, you’ll be too lazy to find a jar,
Taking her instead by the string to hoist her outside,
Watching all the while as she quickly climbs toward your
Hand, until you AAAAH! Shooka-shooka-shooka!

Which of course makes her slide down too far, so you
Reel-reel-reel her up before she touches the floor,
And AAAAH! Shooka-shooka-shooka! you play Spider
Yo-yo as you’re walking her outside. 

Then, of course, once you reach your destination,
Ready to release her, the thread’s well stuck and
Shooka-shooka-shooka! it won’t let go, so with
Imaginary scissors, you make your fingers go snip!

The spider floats free.  But then as you walk back in,
There she is, climbing up your pant leg, so you
GrammarschoolfireWALK outside again and
Boonga-boonga-boonga jump up and down ‘til she’s gone! 

Do yourself a favor next time:
You go visit her.